It’s that time of the year again when, instead of enjoying the Christmas spirit and spending quality time with our family and the people we care for, we sometimes forget that this is meant to be a special time of enjoyment! Instead it can be a time when a lot of carers feel especially stressed and worried, and experience high levels of anxiety about the Christmas preparations and how to cope with caring for an elderly family member, maybe someone who suffers from dementia, lives with a disability or suffers from an incurable illness, while also preparing for festivities with the whole family or friends.
As my friend and director of Amalfi Coaching, Bernadette Durrell, has pointed out to me recently, we can sometimes loose our way while we are trying to manage the requirements of a person in our care, the traditions in our family and the expectations of others and ourselves about what “should be” happening at Christmas. So it is really important to take the time to think about what is important for us and our loved ones to experience a fantastic enjoyable Christmas season.
Bernadette suggested a few questions we should ask ourselves, and I want to take this opportunity to share these with you:
- Who will be there? Are there going to be people who may be feeling sad or disconnected because of changed circumstances? Are there people who are joining you for the first time? Are there people who are argumentative or negative? How will you choose to include these people in your celebration? How are you going to behave?
- What sort of atmosphere do you want to create? Will it be one of fun and relaxation? Do you like to have everything perfect and run like clockwork? Are you happy with chaos? How does your way of doing things impact on others? Is it a source of conflict and if so how might you choose to do it differently? Do you want to do it differently? How can you utilize the strengths of others to create the atmosphere you want? If you are a guest, how are you going to influence the day?
- What do you hear yourself saying to others about your celebration? What do you hear them saying about their day? What are you telling yourself about how the day has gone? Who is talking? What isn’t being said? What is best left unsaid?
- What does your house, garden, table look like on the day? What do you need to buy, do or have in place to achieve that look? When do you need to start preparing for it? Is it realistic to achieve within your time, energy and financial resources? If not what can you do instead? What if you decide 80% was good enough? If you are a guest, how can you help the host/hostess?
Once you have taken the time to clear your mind about how you really want your Christmas time to be, it will be much easier to focus on the preparations, plan your time effectively, have your shopping list at the ready and prepare for the “challenges”!
On top if these great “mind clearers” (as I call them), it is also important to think about how to enjoy a healthy Christmas and ensure that the food and drink you choose is appropriate for your guests, the people you care for in your home and yourself. So take a moment to think about the following:
- Elderly and ill people need to drink plenty of water during the hot weather that usually accompanies the Christmas season. Ensure you have enough water or other non-alcoholic beverages and encourage people to drink plenty of these.
- Is the food “manageable” for someone with a disability or an illness? Can they eat it without assistance? Do they have a problem with chewing or swallowing ? Do they need pureed foods? Will there be someone able to assist them?
- Does any of your guests (or yourself) have a food allergy? Do they experience Irritable Bowel Syndrome or diarrhoea?
- Is the meal appropriate to the weather conditions, for example not serving heavy, rich or hot foods on a day of 40’C, but replace these with a salad, fruit or other cold food options.
- Some people may be on medications that should not be taken with certain foods. Check if any of your guests or family members have special dietary requirements to be safe. There are plenty of recipes available on the internet (Google “healthy recipes for elderly”) with suggestions on how to substitute certain foods with a safer option.
For a lot of us Christmas means getting together with family and friends over some great food and the right choice of food and drink can mean the difference between a relaxed, enjoyable day or a day ending in disaster!
I wish you all a safe, happy and healthy Christmas season!
For more information please contact Ann on 0476 035 233 or send me an email via this website ( “enquiries” tab) or to ayoung@countrymilehomecare.com.au